out of the shadows
Since being at CGA I have noticed that my intimacy with the Lord has increased. I’m spending time with Him not because I “have to” but because I “want to.” Something within me yearns to know Him more and reflect Him in everything I do. God doesn’t force me to be intimate with Him, he is quite the gentleman. He waits for me to come to Him.
What does being intimate with Him look like for me now?
Waiting. Sitting. Seeking. Listening. Meditating on His word. Abiding in Him as He abides in me. Having little to no expectations when I meet with Him. Making myself available to the Holy Spirit.
A year ago you could have asked me that very same question and I would have told you that I was intimate with the Lord because I’m journaling, I’m reading my bible, I’m painting etc … I know now that those are avenues in which the Lord uses in order to speak with me, but they aren’t how I go deeper with the Father.
So what’s the problem?
I’m intimate with the Father, but I’m not sharing the wisdom and the things that He has given to me with others in the capacity that I’ve been called to. It’s not that I’m not doing it, because I am with a handful of people, but the Lord has called me to a grander scale. On my race my squad leader Ryan always told “Brittine you must roar so that others can find their roar.” Meaning that I needed to walk in boldness and freedom so that others could receive that as well.
This paints a realistic picture for me, because when I see a lion roaring I see power and authority and that’s what the Lord has given me.
Every Monday as a staff at Adventures in Missions we worship together to enter our work week. It’s pretty awesome! Taylor, one of my squadmates from the race and a fellow CGA apprentice, has allowed me to use her worship flags for the past few weeks. I bring them to staff worship, and strategically place myself in a corner in order to not disturb anybody while using them. I face the wall as to protect myself from the temptation of worshipping the Lord in performance for other people to see. Than I have some fun with the Lord. Singing loudly not caring who is around, dancing, swaying (probably offbeat), and whipping those flags.
If you don’t know who Clint Bokelman is well I pray that your are able to find your own Clint. (You never know that may be you.) Anyways, Clint is one of the most prophetic people I have ever been in the same room with. I don’t know Him personally, but I have seen this man prophesy many times over the course of the past year and a half.
At staff worship He got a word specifically for me. “Come out of the shadows.” It’s not something He just came over and shared with me personally. NO. He said it on a microphone in front of all the staff members. Who are now, unknowingly to them, my new accountability partners.
The shadows are not a place for me. I am called to come and worship freely in order to release freedom into the atmosphere of wherever I am. What Ryan said is true, when I walk in my freedom people walk in theirs. I’ve seen the fruit of this blessing so many times.
So what is my calling?
I am called to: encourage and empower young adults and women to walk freely in their giftings towards their destiny by cultivating a healthy, holistic, and judgment free atmosphere of freedom and praise.
As of today I don’t know what that looks like for the rest of my life, but I know what that looks like right now. That is coming out of the shadows and into the light!!
*** Stay Tuned for next week’s blog post about facing opposition when you listen to God’s calling. ****
